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  Oh well, here goes nothing; she reached for the phone. Carolyn answered on the first ring. “Hello?”

  Amanda tried to get out a perky “Hey, Carolyn” and failed miserably.

  “What’s the matter? Do you want me to come over?” Carolyn offered.

  Amanda had to smile at the warm hug her friend extended over the phone. “No, thanks. I think I’m going to go to bed here in a few minutes. It’s been a really long day.”

  “Okay,” Carolyn agreed. “So can you just give me some idea how things went tonight?”

  “The evening started out rather nice actually and went downhill from there. We had to meet a few other people. The long and short of it is, what was said tonight was spoken in confidence.” With a heavy sigh, she added, “Oh, Carolyn, as much as I wish I could tell you all about it, I can’t. I think what I need right now is a good night’s sleep. Let me sort through some of this on my own and then we’ll have a nice chat as soon as we can, okay?”

  Amanda could hear the disappointment in Carolyn’s voice when she said, “I’ve been praying for you.”

  Amanda smiled. “I know you have. Thanks for your support. Good night.”

  “Night.” Carolyn replied.

  ****

  Amanda felt like her heart had been ripped out. It hurt her to be near Tracy and it hurt her to be so emotionally distant from him. How was she to cope? Another week of working side by side with him in the classroom put more stress on Amanda than she thought she could bear. She wanted to call her mom, and yet, she resisted that thought. She was a big girl now. It was time to stand on her own two feet.

  All she had to look forward to was that at the end of this day, it marked the beginning of spring recess. She knew she needed some space and time with the Lord. Amanda put the last of her things in her bookbag and looked around to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything.

  Carolyn popped her head around the corner. “If you want to clear out before Tracy finds you, I’d leave now. He was just asking me if I had seen you.”

  Amanda sent her friend a grateful look as she grabbed her case. “Thanks. I’m out of here. Call me later, okay?”

  “Gotcha.”

  Amanda made it safely to her truck. Just as she was about to start it, a shadow covered her side as a knock sounded at her window. Drat! She opened her window an inch. “Yes?”

  “Can we talk?”

  She sighed, “I know that is what we need to do… it’s just…” she paused for a moment to think about how to phrase her thoughts, “I can’t. At least not yet. Let’s grab a cup of coffee after the vacation break and then we’ll talk.”

  Tracy blew air slowly out his cheeks and asked, “Is there anything I can do?”

  Amanda rubbed the back of her neck. The look Tracy had given her was her undoing. Finally, breaking under the strain, she gave way to her hurt feelings as she quietly stated, “I know you and the State had your reasons, but…I feel so exposed.” Before he had the chance to speak, she turned over the engine and Tracy instinctively took a step away from the vehicle. She called out the window, “I’ll talk to you next week.” She quickly put it in first gear and pulled through to the opposite parking space.

  As soon as she was out of view of the school parking lot, she pulled over to find some tissues. Tears streamed down her face like an unstoppable waterfall. With all the strain she had been under, she knew that once the tears started it would take her a while to be able to stop them. She tried to take a deep breath. “Lord, I’m a mess! I know I was rude to Tracy. Help me to be able to forgive him.”

  She mopped her eyes with the tissue. “Was his interest in me genuine or just part of the job?” Amanda finally admitted, “The kicker of the whole thing is that I was really beginning to think perhaps our relationship would work. I was hoping…” Looking up to the interior light, she questioned, “Oh, why? I should have stuck to my guns in the first place and never gone on a date with him.” Finally, the tears slowed down. “Okay, Lord. This is the second time I’ve failed at love. I give up. Where do I go from here?”

  The thought of forgiveness came to her mind. Frustrated with that notion, she tried to blow it off. “Yeah, yeah. I know…but it’s so hard.” Amanda blew her nose. Again, she knew that God wanted her to forgive Tracy. “Okay, I’ll try but You need to help me here, Lord.”

  Suddenly, she realized how even in the midst of this troubled time that God is in control. “Thank you, Father, that You knew all of this before it even happened. I’m just seeing a little piece of Your whole picture. Help me to trust in You. And thank you most of all that I have this break from work!” Amanda finished mopping up her face before she pulled her truck back onto the road.

  ****

  A cozy cabin surrounded by Your creation. Isolated from people, but close to You. Amanda relaxed in the wicker rocking chair on the porch with a cup of hot tea. Rocking back and forth she looked around her. Lord, this place is beautiful. What an awesome way to spend the break.

  Aunt Marge popped her head out the screen door. “Are you all set now, Amanda?”

  Amanda grinned. “I think so. I need to boil the water for three minutes before I use it.”

  “You got it. And don’t forget to bring the flashlight when you use the outhouse after dark. There are a few potholes to watch out for.”

  Laughing, she said, “That’s the one thing I remember well from when I was a little girl.” Amanda looked out at the quiet beauty all around. “I know this cabin has been in the family for too many generations to count, but do you ever think of giving this place up?”

  Aunt Marge joined Amanda on the matching rocker. “Sometimes I wish it had running water and such, especially since I’m getting older now, but...” She looked out toward the pond, “I don’t want to chance losing that something special feeling you get when you’re here.”

  They rocked contentedly for a while before Marge said, “When we stay here, we’re living just as our relatives who built this place so long ago did. I don’t know why, but it makes me feel connected to them in some way.”

  Amanda thought about that. “I think you’re right. It takes a while to get into this pace of life, but once you’re here, things just seem oh, I don’t know...right somehow.”

  “Umm. One of the reasons may be because you have time to think here. How often do we give ourselves that opportunity in our modern day hustle and bustle?”

  “I hear you.”

  Looking up at the sky, her aunt said, “Well, I best be heading back down the road to get supper for your uncle. There’s no cell service up here, but if you get into any trouble, bang on the bell here next to the door and we’ll be able to hear you.”

  “Thanks, Aunt Marge. I know you and Mom were a little reluctant to let me come here by myself, but I’ll be fine. I need this time alone.”

  “Then pray, get it.”

  Amanda smiled, “You don’t need to worry about that.”

  “I’ll pick you up in six days time then before supper. The cupboards are all stocked so you’re set.”

  “Thanks again for letting me say in your cabin.” Amanda said as she gave her aunt a hug good-bye.

  “Good-bye, for now.” She called over her shoulder as she walked to her car.

  Amanda waved until the car was out of sight.

  ****

  Many things plagued Amanda’s mind which made her bone weary. She sighed and laid aside the quilt she was working on and went into one of the two small bedrooms. She felt like a cross between Goldilocks and a princess, picking which bed to sleep in. Finally, she settled on the room that had several faded linen cross-stitch wall hangings and an antique poster bed.

  Amanda no more than closed her eyes and she was asleep. The man she had so skillfully avoided thinking about during the day filled her dreams. Tracy came to her with his arms outstretched, and fool that she was, she ran into them. Gone were the feelings of misery she’d been experiencing as of late. Gone was the question if his feelings were genuine for her
or not. It felt so good to be held in his warm embrace. His eyes twinkled as he looked at her, “Forgive me?”

  The door slammed shut and Amanda startled awake. “What?”

  A fierce wind rocked the cabin. Amanda peeked out the window. Dark clouds threatened the sky. She was in for a thunderstorm, and a good one to boot. That’s okay. After a disturbing dream like the one she just had, the weather matched her mood.

  She picked up the candle resting on the dresser and went in search of matches. One of the fond memories of her childhood came crashing back—thunder parties. No matter what friction there may have been in the home, when there was a thunderstorm, whoever was home would gather around in the kitchen. They’d light a candle and turn out all the lights.

  “Well, God. It’s just you and me tonight.” She settled at the round oak table and poured her heart out to the Lord, giving the situation completely over to Him.

  Teacher's Plans

  Teacher's Plans

  Chapter Twelve

  May

  Spring break ended and Amanda entered her classroom with a new strength and determination. After setting her things down, she walked over to the window and opened it to let in some fresh air. Carolyn gave a soft knock on her door and began peppering Amanda with questions. “Hey, how was your trip to the cabin? I missed you. When did you get home?”

  “Ah, Carolyn, it was awesome. Just to be away, alone with God and have the beauty of His creation all around me. It was like putting salve on an open wound.” Amanda offered Carolyn a seat. “I got home last night after Aunt Margie insisted I stay for dinner.” With a dream-like quality, she continued, “Their cabin is tiny, but absolutely wonderful. I’ve only been there one other time when I was a little girl. I kind-of felt like I was taken back in time a bit.”

  “How so?”

  “They don’t have running water since it’s just a seasonal vacation house for them. You have to lug it up from the stream and then boil it. But, the sunrises and sunsets, ohhh…magnificently awesome!” It would make a perfect honeymoon cottage. As soon as she thought about that, she felt like kicking herself.

  “If you keep this up, I’m going to twist your arm into promising me that I can go with you next time.”

  Amanda laughed. “Sounds good to me.”

  Just then, a ragged looking Tracy entered the room.

  Carolyn whistled under her breath. “Well, I think it’s time for me to get going. I’ll catch ya later.”

  “Good morning, Tracy.”

  Tracy looked steadily at Amanda for a moment before softly answering. “Morning, Amanda. Did you have a good Spring break?”

  “I did.” Amanda noticed dark circles under his eyes. She looked at the floor and asked, “How was yours?”

  Tracy shrugged his shoulder. “I’ve been having trouble sleeping.”

  “I thought you looked a little tired.”

  “I’m feeling more than tired.” Tracy sighed. “I feel like a miserable clout for what I’ve put you through. Amanda, if I had only realized, at the beginning of this assignment, all the trouble and hurt it could cause, I would have never agreed to it. Do you think you can forgive me?”

  “Tracy,” Amanda waited until he was looking into her eyes. “It was hurtful to me and it’s very unfortunate for the students that they will be losing you.” She glanced away for a moment. “I really did enjoy having you teach with me. We made a good team.” A light stole into Tracy’s eyes as she continued. “I know you really do care for the students. After all, that was what spurred you on to take this position in the first place.” With a half smile as her peace offering, she said, “I forgive you.”

  “Thank you, Amanda.” Tracy’s eyes looked suspiciously moist.

  Amanda teased, “Of course, I will not forgive the fact you are no longer under my authority, rather me being under yours.”

  Tracy chuckled. “I’ll be sure to take it easy on you.” Tracy put his finger under her chin, “Amanda, where does this leave us…our relationship?”

  “I don’t know,” she whispered.

  With that, the bell rang marking the official ending of the break.

  ****

  The first week of May was over when Mr. Murray asked to see Tracy in his office after school. Curiosity pricked at Amanda so she decided to wait around until Tracy came back. As soon as he entered the room, she asked, “Well?”

  He sighed, “You can take this as good news or bad.”

  Amanda impatiently asked, “What news?”

  “Mr. Murray has found a student majoring in education who just finished his semester.” Tracy sat on the corner of her desk and continued, “He was offered my position and accepted it. Looks like I’m being sent back.”

  Amanda fell quiet. This was a good thing, wasn’t it? So why did she feel like crying? “Well, that is good news for you. Now you can wrap things up.”

  “Yes, that I can do, but I…” Whatever Tracy was going to say he left unsaid. He grabbed his briefcase. “I best be getting home. I’ll talk to you later.”

  ****

  Tracy drummed his thumb on the counter as he waited for Amanda to pick up the phone. Please Lord, let her say yes.

  “Hello?”

  “I have a proposition for you to think over.”

  “What kind of proposition.”

  In his dreams, it would be one of marriage, but he didn’t dare hazard to guess what she’d think of that. I’ve got to do things right this time. Take it nice and slow. “I got an idea while I was driving home and I cleared it with my boss. There is only one week left of May and then three more weeks until school is out. I’ll still be working on this project at that point.”

  Tracy paused for such a long time that finally Amanda questioned, “Which means…?”

  “I really could use an assistant. Would you be interested in a summer job? You’d work nine to three Monday through Thursday.”

  Amanda chuckled. “Wow, that would be a switch.”

  “Not really.” He felt like adding we’d be together , but thought better of it.

  Amanda was quiet.

  “Well?” Tracy finally asked.

  “Well…” Amanda repeated Tracy’s word. “I’ll give it some thought. Are you sure your supervisor would approve?”

  Tracy didn’t hesitate. “I’m sure of it. It’s only a temporary position. My boss is pretty eager to get this project wrapped up. I think he would hire five assistants if I asked him.”

  Quietly, Amanda said, “Oh, I see. Oops, I’ve gotta go. My pizza’s burning. I’ll let you know by the end of the week.”

  “Great.” Just as she was about to hang up, he said, “Amanda?”

  “Yes?”

  “Tomorrow is my last day at school. Would you pray for me? I need to say good-bye to the kids.”

  “You bet. See you tomorrow.”

  “Yep, tomorrow.”

  ****

  As Amanda looked back on the week she realized the students took Tracy’s departure better than the staff. Carolyn had flown up to her after school that day. “Why’s Tracy leaving? I don’t understand…no notice, no nothing.”

  Amanda threw her hands up. “I plead the fifth.”

  One of the highlights of the week, however, had been her new assistant. Ralph Diaz was a young man full of energy and new ideas for her students. He brought a new excitement into the usually blah wind-down of the school year. You could easily see that he had the makings of a great teacher.

  As she pulled the truck into her driveway, she was surprised to see Tracy sitting on her front step. Her heart betrayed her and pulse quickened. Time. It will take time to get over him.

  Tracy ran over to help her out of the truck. “Hi, Amanda. How’s the rest of your week been?”

  Amanda allowed him to take her bags and the newspaper she had stopped to pick up at the general store. “It’s been good.”

  “Glad to hear it.”

  Amanda shifted from one foot to the other. “So, what brings you to the
neighborhood?”

  Tracy shrugged his shoulders. “I was wondering if you’d like to have a bite to eat with me.”

  Yes, she had forgiven him, and yes she missed him, but going out on a date didn’t fit into the plan to safeguard her heart. “Sorry, I can’t go out tonight. I have something to do.” Hurt reflected in Tracy’s deep blue yes. She relented some, “But I have time for a cup of coffee. Would you like one?”